should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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