also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Randomize
