Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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