I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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