I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
