Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
