it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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