his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
