your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
