Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
