the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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