I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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