I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
