I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
