the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize