Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
