he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
