So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
