Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
