I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
