My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
