I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
