too bad you live with your parents still
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
