there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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