I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
