He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
