sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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