Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Randomize
