So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
