So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
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