So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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