redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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