idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
