I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
