the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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