Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize