My nipple is on Facebook.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
