He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
