I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
