butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
