You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
