You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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