Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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