Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize