Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
