I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
