he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
sex in a hospital.. check
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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