dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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