three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
