my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
