so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize