I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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