so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
