There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
