Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
home. puking in laundry basket.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
