i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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