just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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