Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
